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My wife announced yesterday she thinks it would be a good idea if all our bank accounts were joined. There goes my discreet bike purchases out of the separate savings account I had in my name. Thank god the new Hed wheels just came in today.

Maybe if you called us names that we actually understood and could take as an insult.
What the hell is a jeezly jillpoke? Sounds like a guy who jerks off in his office.

Finished up a renovation in the basement a couple months back. Also renovated the pain cave. Got a flat screen mounted on the wall across from the bike to watch Netflix while riding & running.

I think you are all missing the larger picture here. If our significant others get hold of this report, they will no longer buy our claims of needing the latest and greatest bike because of all the speed we are losing due to our older un-aero frames. This report should be burned and stricken from the internet.

This had me cracking up when I saw it.

Welcome.
The only dicks here are the ones you eat. You'll understand what this means after about 1 day on the site.

You are now on my list, along with @AaronWebstey, of Tri Roosters not to shake hands with.

My Secret Santa gift came in today.

The cycling scrapbook looks really interesting. Lots of old cycling photos and history on the old racers and races.

A Good Morning Asshole cup. I have a certain someone at the office I'll be hoisting that to every morning as they pass my desk. (And the Fishs Eddy store is great)

And finally my own apron. I no longer have to use my wife's Wonder Women apron when baking. I actually put it on and made a couple of pie crusts right after I opened the box.

Thank you Secret Santa, you nailed it.

Actually these are all Dont's.

1. Don't show up to a marathon/1/2 in your sleeveless 1 piece trisuit and compression socks. You look like a complete dork and embarrass the rest of us triathletes running.
2. Don't wear white or light gray run shorts that turn see-through when it's raining. I don't want to see the crack of your ass while I'm running. Pick a darker color next time it's forecast to rain.
3. Wipe your ass before the run. This is for the guy running in front of me who smelled like sweaty ass crack at mile 2. C'mon, 2 extra wipes next time please.
4. Ladies, if you are wearing run shorts with a liner, why do you insist on wearing granny panties underneath. Especially when it's raining out. This goes out to the young lady wearing white run shorts. Your green underwear was too big for your shorts and was bunching up under the liner. Looked like you took a green dump in your pants. The liner is there so you don't need to wear underwear.
5. Chubby guy. Please put your shirt back on. I know if you are running shirtless and everything jiggles just right, we may be able to see you actually have muscles under that layer of fat but 99% of the time you are jiggling in the wrong direction and it is unappealing. It was 60* and rainy. You were chubby and hairy. No need to take your shirt off today.

Is your poor choice your Christmas tree looks like Bert from Sesame Street?