PubliusValerius

I got banned for making fun of the trust fundy, creationist, homophobic, flat-Earther, sycophant-turned-average-photographer, race banditing (WWJD) Talbot Cox.

Just don't make fun of his music -- that is where the dude draws the line.

Stan Empfield is in the legacy building phase of his career now and for this reason he is more sensitive, dictatorial, and psychologically unstable than ever. What was once a safe space (Slowtwitch / Slowtwitch forums) to slam the people and companies that make this sport so repugnant -- wait, sorry, Slowtwitch was never that, but I tried my level best -- has become only a venue for circle jerking around videos from Talbot's cock and parsing abstruse topics like CdA and watts to spin.

In case you missed one of the three threads on the topic prior to Dan removing them -- apparently removing content is part of Dan's professed belief in the free flow of information -- I've been banned for life from Slowtwitch. Current thread: https://forum.slowtwitch.com/forum/Slowtwitch_Forums_C1/Triathlon_Forum_F1/You_can't_argue_balls_and_strikes_P6778415/

Oddly enough, this time I didn't do anything specific. Dan informed me of my permanent ban via email: "You’re not really interested, based on your posting, in the free flow of information and ideas. You’re a provocateur. And I’m tired of having thousands of people inconvenienced for the sake of one provocateur. Or a few. I’ve banned about a dozen people over the past 2 weeks." My response was: "Are you kidding me? My posting is ENTIRELY about instigating the free flow of information. THAT'S THE POINT."

A few weeks ago, after I stated in passing that De Soto products are a bit expensive for what they are, I received a classic Stan nastygram: "is it time for you to take some time off? Until your anger cools? When you (for example) take a drive by stab at de soto, just because you’re mad at de soto (there’s nothing contextual about your hit job) that’s just uncool. You may think it’s righteous, but it’s petty. Same with roka. Same thing with triathlon in general. 'it’s no secret that triathlon is dying'. In fact, all my metrics show that after 5 year over year decreases – which I’m very willing to admit to, and predicted it, and reported on it, before you or anyone else did back in 2013 – 2018 is an up year (more up than I thought it would be). So, I don’t know whether your anger is general or specific. But you need to solve it."

Actually, I am angry, actually, and the anger is both general and specific. Here's what I am angry about:

1) I'm angry that neither I nor any of my close friends want to do triathlon anymore because it is a lame sport full of the worst kind of type A douche bags, flaunting their wealth and faking physical superiority wherever possible while sucking wheel and taking T all the way to the Big Island. And I'm angry at Slowtwitch for glorifying the worst form of such douche bags: https://www.slowtwitch.com/Interview/Ed_Baker_s_Newest_Startup_7021.html

2) I'm angry that I buy triathlon products all the time that completely suck because nobody has the stones to say so in a public forum. I'm mad my Garmin doesn't work and that DC Rainmaker can't just say that a product is terrible.

I'm mad at experiences like this: https://forum.slowtwitch.com/forum/?post=6421298#p6421298

...in light of reviews like this: https://www.slowtwitch.com/Products/Tri_Bikes_2018/The_Andean_s_Long_Awaited_New_Stem_6856.html

3) I'm angry that the equipment and race entries and everything related to the sport makes all but the shittiest, smallest races inaccessible to those who aren't making at least six figures.

And I'm sick of people like Thom, an old white Republican from New England, making the impossibly stupid argument that the sport is affordable [in this case because its less expensive than owning private airlines and horses]: https://forum.slowtwitch.com/forum/?post=6758926#p6758926

4) I'm angry at Providence Equity/IRONMAN: for producing races so well that they became the sport itself, rather than an operator within it; for managing their business to extract the most cash possible from a customer base unable to pay the freight; and for acting with no regard for lifetime value of a business / sport they scaled rapidly only to jettison, leaving the sport and the dumb money from Asia holding the bag.

And I'm annoyed that with the resources of USAT and IRONMAN, this was the best they came up with: https://www.teamusa.org/USA-Triathlon/News/Articles-and-Releases/2018/February/05/Time-to-Tri

5) I'm angry there are no women in the sport, but I do not wonder why when the TriGod himself is asking how he can best tell women "you are slow because you are fat": https://forum.slowtwitch.com/forum/?post=6711916#p6711916

I am not angry at Stan Empfield, because his heart is in the right place and the trains run on time. He genuinely believes that the number of butthurt PMs he receives about a forum member is a good gauge for whether they should be banned and/or for whether they would be banned in a popular vote. He's not evil; he's just not very smart.

From here on out, I will only be posting on Slowtwitch as one of my fictional triathlete personas. The goal will be, as always, to change the cultural elements that are the source of my above anger and of course to instigate the free flow of information. Thank you in advance for allowing me to do so here.

Hey Guys,

Can't we just agree to disagree?

How about a Lionel vs Cody vs Kiley smackdown? Dan, do you think we can arrange this?

Do you guys want ro have a sleepover in our onsies jammies in bunk beds?

Gosh id be honoured.

Did i ever to you about the time a bus ran me over? It was cool.

Welp, off to my swim smackdown!

Hope this helps, Pev

Pev, please tell us more about proper bike fits. Lionel needs your guidance. Have your revised your opinion since 2004?

That didn’t have insults about people’s appearances and call people worthless.

Don't put words in my mouth -- I never called anyone worthless. Stupid. Ugly. But not worthless.

I’m saying that Lionel was unlikely to know that a random age grouper he meets at a race has experience in aero.

Serious talk. Experience in aero does not equate to experience in bike fitting. I am an armchair commentator on the former but have very little of the latter, and I know that. I know what I do not know (unlike Lionel). But, like Justice Potter Stewart and obscenity, I know an [obscenely bad] fit when I see one, and whatever Sanders did in between Oceanside and St. George (himself!) was a travesty.

After I trolled him on it at the beginning of the run (yes dhr, mid race) about the new fit, I sent the videos around (here and here) to a few friends. Friends forwarded video to other friends, etc. Eventually it landed with of one of these superstar fitters you see on instagag with the fit bike glamour shots and hash tags that profamateur triathletes retweet so they can be cool by association -- anyways, he and I are acquaintances, having had some message board warfare in the past -- but this is one of the outfits that seems to produce good work. I can't find the thread but he messages me and says that he has tried time and time again to offer help to Sanders on his position but that he basically gets blown off. A few other of the instafamous fitters also have helped this guy in the past, but he thinks he knows better as to how to bridge the gap to Frodo? Come on.

This person needs to relinquish control. He's not a good enough driver to steer the wheel of this thing

Most people, even very smart, very controlling people learn this lesson -- it is a sport that attracts nutcases but also spits them out if they continue such madness and apply it to their training, racing, nutritioning, etc.

By the way, generally, I am sorry for bringing the joke that his wife is busted into this public of a forum. Aaron is right that her looks don’t have anything to do with the main point, but my actual friends (not just randos and avatars on a weird internet site) died laughing on that comment because this is the kind of shit we clown on this guy for privately.

Not everyone was born beautiful and not everyone was born smart. I guess I’m an asshole if I point that out.

When an athlete like Lionel Sanders decides to ignore ERO Sports and Mat Steinmetz and others who actually know what they are talking about and fit himself, that is dumb as dumb gets. Forget slowtwitch -- have you seen some of stan's road show fits?

Sanders has good genes. He has a big engine. He makes mistakes. He puts himself “out there” with his significant transparency. This allows people to be big fans and impressed when he succeeds, but also when things don’t work out or he makes mistakes it makes him vulnerable to pseudo-experts such as pubes call him “stupid” when he gets second place.

I can't. Do you really think this person is not intellectually deficient? By any measure, he is stupid. That is just not debatable.

I like Frodeno and I like Cody Beals. The sport would be (more) boring with all athletes being Frodeno and Cody Beals.

False dichotomy. We need more Macca's, more Starky's, more, hell, AJ Baucco Squads -- we need Iverson's (I'm talkin' bout practice), more shit sportsmen with bad attitudes, more guys like Cam Wurf throwing shade on Twitter. When an instagag crossfit model is the talk of the sport for months, your sport is fucking boring!

One can only take so much

Maggie, you're a female pro. Female NARPs adore you, not to mention female triathlete amateurs. You literally can't post something online without my sister liking it in less than 5 minutes. My mom too.

Post the bike on Tri N Sell It and Online Swap meet, and make sure you mention several times that you went 9:42 in a 145 mile IRONMAN. Bonus points if you can intimate that this bike provides racing superpowers.

This is like the hot girl in high school that thinks she can't get a date to the prom.

@PubliusValerius - did you end up riding the Felt? Is this the older B2 from the aero test? Are you just more comfortable on that bike?

Thanks! Yes, I rode the same Felt from the aero test. I'm definitely comfortable on the bike, but it's also the only functional TT bike I have right now. To answer Pev, it's definitely the "safe" bike for me, in that I know it's very fast, easy to work on, reliable, etc. The only thing I don't like about it is that there are exposed cables on the front end and the geometry is such that I have to use an undermount setup to hit my numbers. Those are annoying enough things that I'm going to be building up a Speed Concept 7 series as an offseason project

Thanks Pev. I just want to thank you, because I don't think be here today if I hadn't learned so much from you at St. Croix in 2013. It was really informative to hear about how you refined your gearing for the Beast and how you averaged 2 watts higher than your goal of 185. Not to mention the odds you overcame at Ironman Lake Placid 99.

Also really enjoyed hearing those same stories again in October at Kona, which was 2013, the last year you made it to the big dance, before your injury of course. You are injured right? Please tell us more.